Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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