worst night to have a conscience
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
