How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
