so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
