My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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