why didn't you poke me back
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
