You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
