no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
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