well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
