I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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