Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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