"it" just moved
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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