Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
