1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
