Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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