He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
