Are we in a gay sports bar?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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