even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
