I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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