Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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