Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
