if i can run in heels then i can drive
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
