doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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