you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
