come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
