Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's rum buckets o'clock
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
