Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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