It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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