she woke up with a sticky ear
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
