Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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