it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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