you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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