none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Holy sore nipples Batman
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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