the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
that is very illegal...i love you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize