VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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