used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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