i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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