the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
