My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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