the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
