So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
