yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So many bounce houses so little time
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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