Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
