so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
