Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
