put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Randomize
