i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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