Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
