Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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