Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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