Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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