I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
