Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize