franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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