so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
