found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
