He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
