remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
