The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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