Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
