Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
