Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize