You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Randomize
