her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
