My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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