So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Randomize
