it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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