i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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