Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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