I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
