Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
