holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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