This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
