He is an equal opportunity slut.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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