Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
