we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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